Should you be friends with your ex? | Three Step Dating

Should you be friends with your ex?

When coaching my clients they always ask me ?Renessa Should I be friends with my ex?? ?This is a very diverse question. There is not a universal answer for everyone because every breakup in not the same.

Everyone has dealt with being friends or in an intimate relationship with someone that once they really had the opportunity to know this person they were not a good fit for each other.

This is common-you meet someone you like, you two date and then after being intimate or friends for a while, things change or in some cases you find out you two were not a good match from the beginning .

In most cases you were physically attracted to each other and just not asking the right questions when getting to know each other.? You were asking good questions but after knowing them for a certain amount of time their words did not match their actions.

These questions are answered only in time: questions such as their relationships with their friends, family, work environment or their long term goals.

Dating is a process not an overnight success. Even if you hear great things coming out of their mouth on the first date you still have to be in the process of seeing the actions behind their words.

Renessa Rios?s? Top 5 reasons to not be friends with your Ex At All: (Not even Facebook Friends)

1. Your ex was abusive mentally, emotionally, psychologically and of course physically.
2. They treated you with no respect and play head games during the relationship, this is called manipulation. ?They broke up with you and embarrassed you or cheat on you and did not sincerely try to make things right.
3. You are more worried about what is going on their lives and watching their Facebook more than creating new smiles on your face.
4. They do not support you in your dreams and goals.
5. You feel sorry for them. It is one thing to be cordial with an ex if you run into them. It is not healthy to keep someone in your life because you feel sorry for them. Let them move on so they can create friendships with someone who appreciates them not someone who feels sorry for them. Letting go is a gift to both of you!

Renessa Rio?s Top 5 reasons you can be friends/acquaintance s with your Ex: (Not Friends with Beneifts)

1. You will not get jealous seeing him?or her making out with someone other than you. A jealous friendship is not a good friendship.
2. You have kids with you ex, therefore being your children?s role model in respect and conversation. Do your best to get along with each other and not gossiping about your ex to your children or in front of your children.
3. You two have a platonic friendship that is not going to lead you back into bed with eachtoher just to be cuddle buddies.
4. They support you and encourage you in life but are not the center of your life. You have room to move on and be in a new relationship.
5. You guys work together therefore not ruining your relationship with your co-workers forcing them to picks ides and being unprofessional at work. This is not good on your resume, remember everyone is a reference for you

If you feel you need more support in getting over your Ex or how to really breakup with your thoughts and emotions to match your actions please feel free to contact me directly at Coaching@ThreeStepDating.com.

• Remember it took time to get into this relationship so it going to take time to get out of the relationship especially if you did not want it to end.
• Even though the person is not physically there, this does not mean that they are not mentally or emotionally still very alive in your life.
• Give time for your emotions to catch up that this person is no longer in your life. Allow time before engaging in a mutual friendship.
• A good starting point is at least 30 days to even a year after the break up depending on how long you were together. This gives time for you start healing and creating a new space to start making new friends.
• To not have communication with your ex means no emailing, texting, instant messaging to talking on the phone or in person. Remember why you broke up and move on!

You are in charge of putting the smiles on your face.? Surround yourself with good company, inspire to learn something new every day and give with a purpose. Renessa Rios

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