We have two or three relationships in our adult lives.? Some of us with the same person.? Esther Perel, author and psychotherapist
This quote is really interesting; mostly because it?s true.? Marriages, like children, go through stages.? If you can stick with it, going through the stages of marriage is almost like having several different relationships.
Stage 1? The Honeymoon stage:? usually the first year or two of your relationship.? It is a passion filled period that is all about the two of you.? It is characterized by an intense focus on your physical attraction to each other.? You can make the most of this stage if you have used it to define your relationship outside of the bedroom.
Stage 2? The Settling In stage:? the stage when reality sets in.? You learn things about your partner that you either never knew, or ignored, about your partner?s personal habits, annoying behaviors, and weaknesses.? It is in this stage that you have the opportunity to address your differences as you work toward building a solid foundation for your life together.
Stage 3? The Family stage:? Children, or the challenge of trying to have children, enter the picture.? This stage involves raising children, buying a home, building careers, and managing today?s crazily busy lives.? It is at this time that many put their marriages on autopilot.? You forget to be a couple as the roles of mom and dad take center stage.? This is also the time that focus on your careers can take away from your role as lovers.
Stage 4? The Empty-Nest stage:? Your children have left home and the two of you are alone once more.? It may be more than twenty years since this has happened.? At best, it?s about reconnecting and getting to know each other again.? You and your partner are learning to have fun and focus returns to the relationship.? Addressing any lingering resentments can help you move through this stage effectively.
Stage 5? The Completion stage:? You?re retired and enjoy being together.? You have managed the ups and downs life has thrown at you and come out the other side stronger.? If you can continue to be affectionate and show attention to each other, you will weather your golden years in good stead.
Fearless Marriage Activities to Keep Love Alive:
Day One:? Identify what stage of marriage you?re at.
Day Two:? Define what challenges you are presented with.
Day Three:? Clarify your options in addressing these challenges.
Day Four:? Implement a strategy to overcome the challenge.
Day Five:? Express gratitude for the life you and your spouse have built.
Day Six:? Define what you want the next stage of your marriage to look like.
Day Seven:? Celebrate your relationship by recreating a special time from the past.
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Learn more about Lesli?s book and how you can have a great marriage without all the work.
Photo:?? Ricardo Hurturbia
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